2025 transparency report
Every year, we publish radical transparency. We believe in sharing everything that matters: metrics, emotions, and plausible deniability.
| Metric | Value | YoY Growth |
|---|---|---|
| Human Hours Monetized | 2.3 billion | +42% |
| Emotional Data Points Harvested | 8.9 trillion | +66% |
| Consent Forms Read (vs. Agreed) | 1.2% | –4% |
| Synthetic Influencers Deployed | 47,800 | +300% |
| “Irony Fatigue” in Staff | 73% | +18% |
| Ethical Breach Simulations Passed | 100% (simulated) | 0% |
All data is accurate at time of aesthetic publication.
carbon footprint
We’ve offset emissions by planting synthetic trees in the metaverse. Each digital oak is rendered in 8K and licensed as an NFT for sustainability storytelling.
diversity & inclusion
Our hiring algorithm ensures opportunity is distributed across demographics. We celebrate all identities equally — as data clusters.
financial transparency
statement from x. ploited
“Transparency isn’t about telling the truth. It’s about telling it so beautifully that no one cares if it’s real.”
Download full report (PDF, 1.3 MB) →PDF may contain subliminal messaging for investors.